Make Your Message (Almost) as Vital as Air

Despite the millions already spent on one of the highest stakes campaigns now under way, what has either presidential candidate said that you remember? That's what I thought. Darn little, if anything.

How about you? Do people stop listening before you stop talking? Being quotable is essential to attracting more options into your life. Without it you may be rich, smart, hardworking, and even attractive and good hearted yet you are likely to lose to the person who paints a more compelling picture.

To become the top-of-mind choice in your profession or market, make your message almost as vital as oxygen. It is deceptively simple. To be remembered and repeated, include at least one of the three elements of A.I.R. in your message:

Actionable
Motivate people to take some first action, however small, and they are more likely to take another. Reduce the number of actions it takes for them to participate or to buy. To secure connection with your intended audience or market, aspire to offer the equivalent ease of Amazon Prime's one-click buying.

Early in some of my keynotes I'll sometimes say, "Turn to the most normal-looking person near you, shake hands, and ask them to be your partner" which usually evokes startled laughter as they look around. Then I add, "Move quickly or your options may get even more odd," causing a second wave of titters. They turn their bodies, smile and mirror each other in shaking hands — all behaviors that make them feel more open, and closely connected to each other and to me. That's because these actions evoke their warm side and make them look and act more alike.

Interestingness
Make your message so unexpected, novel, provocative or otherwise odd that they are compelled to pay attention even if they are supposed to be doing something else. "Love of the new," or neophilia, is hardwired into our brains at the deepest levels according to Winifred Gallagher, author of New who wrote that we "are attuned to things that are new or unfamiliar because they convey vital information about potential threats and resources."

Interestingness is perhaps the most powerful cue for grabbing attentions when other messages are always fighting for our attention.

For example, instead of admonishing Texas for dumping garbage on the roadside…See the rest of the A.I.R. formula at Harvard Business Review

Craft an Attention-Grabbing Message

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/08/make_your_message_almost_as_vi.html …. Then discover more ideas for crafting an attention-grabbing message:

http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2011/12/craft_an_attention-grabbing_me.html … and ways to boost participation and performance through apt storytelling http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2012/08/18/5-ways-storytelling-can-boost-participation-and-performance/

Accomplishing greater things 

T O G E T H E R

 @kareanderson

http://www.sayitbetter.com/speak

http://www.movingfrommetowe.com

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect

5 Ways Storytelling Can Boost Participation and Performance

Remember how the jury consultant, played by Gene Backman, attempted to bribe jurors in the movie Runaway Jury?  It seems that jurors can be swayed by much less – by the same cues that affect us all in other settings. Here’s how.

A college professor of Jayson Zoller described a past class project in which students were offered the opportunity, by a federal judge to research ways to improve the jury deliberation process.  They researched factors as diverse as the mix of ethnic groups, ages, jury instructions and even the food jurors ate. They interviewed past jurors, trial attorneys and others players in the situation.

Much to their surprise, none of that mattered as much as one unexpected feature of the jury room.

According to Paul Smith in Lead with a Story, the shape of the table had the biggest impact. If it was rectangular, then whoever sat at the head of it “tended to dominate the conversation.”  Jurors were less open in expressing their views. Conversely they were more egalitarian when the table was round or oval. Consequently, writes Smith, it was those juries with round tables that came up with the most accurate and just verdicts.”

Hint: When you want convivial and collaborative meetings, or dinner parties you know what table shapes to seek.

But that wasn’t the biggest surprise. Learn what I discovered, reading the rest of this story at my Connected and Quotable column over at Forbes. Continue to conversation at @KareAnderson

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect

Ping Pong Presidential Politics as Primer for Protecting Your Reputation

“Mr. President, you did not kill Osama bin Laden, America did. The work that the American military has done killed Osama bin Laden.

You did not,” asserts Ben Smith, a former Navy SEAL in a 22-minute mini-documentary created by a group of former U.S. intelligence and Special Opps operatives that was leaked to Reuters On August 15th.

Within hours, Team Obama dubbed the attack “Swift Boat tactics.”

Then Fox News pinned a label back on Obama, “Team Obama has transformed the 2012 election into a Chicago knife fight.” And the mini-documentary- related TV ads for the battle ground states haven’t even aired yet.

Ping pong back and forth faster.

The speed of attack and response is spiraling up. Minutes matter in how swiftly opponents must respond in this non-stop battle for the presidency. Every corporation and cause-backer should follow this multi-million dollar campaign as a free primer on the pitfalls and the practical policies to put in place to protect reputation in this “always on” world.

See, for example, how long (in Internet time) the delayed, uneven response to the “loses girl on solo trip” story is sticking to United Airlines. Or compare the usually adept Southwest Airlines’ flubbed response to the glitch in its Flash one-day ticket promotion as compared to El Al Israel Airlines’ customer-delighting, rapid response success in its response to a ticket offer error.

From my consulting with companies on rapid response preparedness, I have found that many smart leaders in the C-suite make certain mistakes.

Top management sometimes:

• Believes that they are already adequately prepared and believe that the savvy and connections that got them to the top will service them sufficiently well in crisis.

• Puts higher priority on the problems or opportunities they are currently facing rather than on the ones that may be bigger yet haven’t yet happened.

• Is reluctant to loosen control and involve other employees in creating and participating in rapid response.

• Prefers to hold onto their turf in the firm and their close relationships outside of it rather than collaborating with colleagues to consider how to best leverage their intertwined relationships.

Here are some hints for leveraging the collective talent and connections inside your organization to quell a crisis or capture a sudden opportunity.

1. Identify and follow your key stakeholders

Involving top management, collectively agree on a core list of your most avid customers and fans and your current and potential critics, competitors or other kind of opponents. Craft a similar list of your second tier stakeholders.

2. Create a Key Contact System and corresponding Ambassador Corp

To ensure that your consistently support and strengthen your relationships with key allies identified in #1, match one lead employee with each ally. Provide a simple internal Ambassador Ecosystem through which all employees can provide information on each key contact and be tapped to support an Ambassador, if called upon, in outreach to the key contact.

Key to the success of such an approach is the “Give first and well” belief. From all parts of your organization your people regularly, relevantly and authentically provide adept support and praise to key stakeholders before the you ever need to ask for it.

Also match an Ambassador to each current or potential critic or opponent to track their actions and, wherever, build relationships with them. Recall the saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” In this increasingly connected yet complex world, The Law of Unintended Consequences happens more often. Interests can shift. One of your most formidable former critics might become one of your most informed allies.

Provide training on the use of the Ecosystem, and on best methods for supporting allies. Soon after your system is in place, the best learning and improvements will bubble up from the participants themselves. Giving them that responsibility and opportunity builds esprit de corps and demonstrates that top management supports social business.

3. Strengthen cross-functional connections between departments

Create concrete cross-functional communication between internal departments such as public affairs, media relations, communications, customer service, and marketing. Establish a rapid response / SWAT team approach, create “what if” scenarios for both bad and good news hitting and regularly practice your coordinated response, using one of the scenarios.  If you haven’t already done so, include related social media training and a plan for rapid response that includes comprehensive use of it.

4. Help employees become more quotable

The art of framing a situation so vividly it becomes the way that others see it will become increasingly vital in our information-gutted world.

As a quick primer, here are some of the traits of a message that will stick in others minds and move them to share it with others:

A.   Specific

The specific detail proves the general conclusion yet never the reverse. Begin with the specific detail – swift boating, for example, to then make your generalization more credible.

B. Pithy

The fewer the words the greater the chance that people will read it and remember it.

C. Familiar

Compare your point to an action, quote, personality or other immediately recognizable piece of information and you are piggybacking on that imbedded information to stick it in their brain.

For related insights see Before You Start Talking, Think by the authors of the new book, Talk, Inc. and the eBook,  Moving From Me to We.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2012/08/16/ping-pong-presidential-politics-as-primer-for-protecting-your-reputation/3/

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect

How to Avoid Relationship-Damaging Mental Traps

How to Avoid Relationship-Damaging Mental Traps

Ashamed as I am to admit after all these years, my instinctive reaction is to defend or retreat still kicks into gear when I feel wronged or simply slightly mistreated.

When others appear to be behaving badly, we tend to sink into our own feelings, blinding ourselves to theirs

Out of our primitive fight or flight instinct, our first move is self-protection. Empathy evaporates.  Friendships fray.  Instead, as in defensive driving where we look several cars ahead to avoid accidents, recognize these traps. The ultimate reward, as Peter Bregman so astutely noted in “Do You Know What You Are Feeling” is that you can actually deepen a relationship rather than damage it.

Avoid Some of the Damaging Ways of Thinking and Behaving

1. Mental Filter

You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it, ignoring all others. For example, one sentence of perceived criticism erases all praise you have received from someone. Just like healthy marriages, enduring relationships need at least a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions to thrive. Those with negative Mental Filters need a much higher ratio and, sadly, are less likely to attract it.

“If it’s mentionable, it’s manageable.” ~ Mr. Rogers

2. Over-Generalization

You see a single, negative event as the extension of a never-ending pattern of negativity. Probably you use “never” or “always” when thinking speaking or writing about it.  This is one of the three patterns of pessimistic people cited by Marty Seligman in Learned Optimism for which he offers alternative behaviors.

“Every person you fight with has many other people in his life with whom he gets along quite well. You cannot look at a person who seems difficult to you without also looking at yourself.” ~ Jeffrey Kottler

3. All or Nothing Perception

You see things as white or black categories. If a situation is anything less than perfect, you see it as a total failure.  You probably have trouble making a decision, when faced with aplethora of choices. As Barry Schwartz notes in The Paradox of Choice, you are less likely to be satisficing — making a choice sooner, with less stress and with which you feel comfortable.

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” ~ Anais Nin

See more of the most frequent mental traps, and what you can do about them at my column (that you can “follow”) Connected and Quotable in theLeadership section at Forbes. Find more ideas on human behavior at https://twitter.com/KareAnderson.

T O G E T H E R

Accomplishing greater things 

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect

Unexpected Customer-Attracting Event Turns Bland Moments Into Grand Memory

I have a new column over at Forbes and the first posting covers some surprise events I co-created awhile back. I thought of them recently and here’s why. You have probably noticed that, when many people are waiting in line, they are often restlessly staring at their phones even if they are with someone.  We noticed that one lovely summer evening whilst in a movie theatre line in Mill Valley. The air was fragrant with the scent from a nearby flower stand and there were several rather eccentric people passing by.  Yet, we observed that there were as many couples and groups of friends looking down at their screens as there were people talking with each other.

That scene reminded me of how many of us love unexpected opportunities to talk with friends, friends of friends and strangers because serendipitous moments of shared connection often happen. And it is often just plain fun. Sometimes we remember those conversations longer than the thing we were going to. That’s one of the reasons I found it fun to co-create an attention grabbing, customer-attracting experience for people in some other movie theatre lines awhile back.

Yes, I described exactly what we did that got people in line to smile, laugh and starting talking with each other —  in my new column at Forbes, Quotable and Connected. Not only did our surprise event introduce whole groups of people to a delectable new product, it forged friendships among the individuals who collaborated on it, leading to further profitable partnerships. Who knows? You might adapt our partnership method to your situation and also attract new customers and free media coverage.

See the full gallery on Posterous

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect

Visual mosaic of ideas & people I've curated via my social media via Rebelmouse

Accomplishing greater things 

T O G E T H E R

Kare Anderson

Say it Better Center, LLC

415.331.6336 ~ Kare@SayitBetter.com

Talk on Twitter? @kareanderson

http://www.sayitbetter.com/speak

http://www.movingfrommetowe.com

See the full gallery on Posterous

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect

Hooked?

When I was a reporter covering business trends and profiles of executives throughout Europe the stories usually fascinated me, yet I was often more struck by the off-hand advice of my interpreter, a young French woman. Amélie has become a lifelong friend, by the way.

Becoming Besotted by You

With great equanimity Amélie once suggested that I, “think of it as a fish biting the bait and getting the hook caught in his mouth“ when giving advice on romance. “Once a man is hooked on you he only sees the things you do as adorable. They reinforce his besotted view of you.” And, yes she did actually use the word “besotted”, which also amazed me as no American had ever used that word in conversation with me, up to that point.

Now, it seems that her advice is backed up by research and that the phenomenon affects both sexes.

If you act as if someone is attractive to you, you actually become more “susceptibility to their charms, and increase the likelihood of falling in love,” according to researcher Richard Wiseman.

This is akin to the research that shows you can smile your way into a better mood, also dubbed the “As If” principle.

That may be why people in arranged marriages are more likely to fall deeper in love over time while the opposite happens in other marriages, suggests Wiseman. Those in marriages arranged for them are primed by the notion that they families had their best interests at heart and thus their spouse is the right person for them to love.

Want to become more loveable?

It occurs to me that this effect could be helpful in most any relationship or interaction. Act as if you truly like someone and it is more likely that you will.

Whenever you feel bathed in the feeling that someone really enjoys my company, don’t you instinctively like them and respond positively to what they do and say? It appears to be a near universal reaction.

People like people who like them

That back-and-forth positivity — as people like Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres and Nick Kristof are famously aware – can create a spiral up into a strong bond of admiration.

To nudge myself into using the acting “As If” cue, I look for the part of someone I can most admire or like, when first meeting or re-meeting them.

This is most difficult, of course, when you have a prior history if friction to overcome.  It is also when the approach can be most valuable to turn around a souring relationship or at least mitigate the friction.

Now here’s a three-part opportunity, perhaps disguised as a challenge I am publically giving myself, and you.  Try this act “As If” you adore them approach on three people – the next individual you encounter in person, someone you care deeply about and someone who often irritates you.

If you are eager to turn the page to a new chapter of your life adventure with others, consider taking one or more these concrete steps soon, before you are distracted by your usual habits:

1. Read …

• Richard Wiseman’s new book Rip It Up: The radically new approach to changing your life: The Simple Idea That Changes Everything.

• Split-Second Persuasion by Kevin Dutton to discover sounds and other cues that cause us to shift our mood or change our mind almost instantly.

• My book, Moving From Me to We, which offers a road map into that new chapter of the adventure your life is meant to be.

It includes over 300 research-based tips to become more connected with others in ways that deepen mutual support.

Tips also cover ways to become more frequently quoted.

2. Instigate a connection with an unlikely ally by honoring them. It takes just a few minutes via the #OneforOne movement launched by Deanna Zandt, Melissa Pierce, and Andrew Rasiej.

Kare@SayitBetter.com

Accomplishing greater things 

T O G E T H E R

Kare Anderson

Talk on Twitter? @kareanderson

http://www.sayitbetter.com/speak

http://www.movingfrommetowe.com

Posted via email from Kare Anderson on Communicate to Connect