Presentation Articles Deliver Presentations That Make Audiences Care

In today's time-starved, relationship-diminished world, audiences: Crave attention and connection with each other Want ready-to-use ideas  AND still expect to be entertained. These goals are often at odds when preparing a presentation that will make people rave about one's program long afterwards. Consequently, successful presenters need gut instincts-based insights into how to grab and hold their audiences attention.

Here are some: 1. Getting specific sooner. Since vivid, specific details prove the general conclusion, not the reverse (yet most educated adults are talking longer to get to the point, and are inclined to use generalities more than their literally-minded children who are full of great word pictures) 2. Honor and surprise some attendees by name. Be a hero to your audience by citing audience members by name as positive examples of the points you are making. How? Interview the meeting planner, sharing your main points and gathering examples she/he has heard or can discover that involve diverse people in the audience.

Then, just before speaking, as that meeting planner to point out the two or three people you are going to mention. That way, as you are making your point, you can begin walking toward the person you want to praise, getting closer and closer to him/her as you share your example so you can be at that person's side, smiling, shaking hands, even asking the audience to give that person some well-deserved recognition (applause, please). 3. Avoid patterned clothing as it will cause attendees to go on even more "mental vacations" than they otherwise would. 4. Walk and talk. Your movements can evoke interest, reinforce the emotions of your stories and punctuate a change of pace or topic.

• Voted one of Top 5 speakers on Communication: http://speaking.com/top5/

• See how much others have accomplished in consulting with Kare http://www.sayitbetter.com/coaching.php - or bring her to speak http://www.sayitbetter.com/meeting_planners.php 

http://twitter.com/KareAnderson  + http://howwepartner.com/

• Two of her blogs are featured on http://collaboration.alltop.com/ and another, Say it Better, on http://lifehacks.alltop.com/

Posted via email from SayitBetter

Bon Bon Bombshell

I conducted a "bonbon experiment" at two Northern California multis and was interviewed by Jim Kozak of Focus magazine who gave me permission to carry this part of his story:

"Lines at these cinemas--the CineArts triplex in Sausalito and the five-screen Rafael Film Center in San Rafael--were descended upon by young women wearing cinema uniforms and brandishing complimentary chocolate-and-ice-cream treats.

Patrons in line for an early-evening show received the treats. Patrons at the next show did not. The people who received the free bonbons spent a whopping 26 percent more on concessions. On another day, the timing was reversed. Those in line for the later show received the free bonbons, those waiting for the early show got none. This time concession sales for the later show were 25.5 percent higher.

In Focus spoke to Anderson--a former Wall Street Journal reporter and an Emmy-winning TV commentator who now publishes the "Say It Better" online magazine--about the details of her experiments, their ramifications, and other aspects of consumer psychology and behavior.

Couldn't the results of these experiments revolutionize the way movie houses do business?

They could. But, you know, the biggest barrier is that people have never done it that way. My experience has always been until the first one does it the others are largely unlikely to change how they do business.

Were the bonbons given to people in line at the concession counter?

No, they were in line outside.

At the box office?

Yeah. Your goal is to get them at the time when they are most bored or restless. Once they're inside they're moving and the momentum turns toward getting into the auditorium.

So you were giving them to people waiting in line to buy tickets?

We did it both with people who had their tickets waiting to get in, because that's one line, and people who didn't have their tickets. The sooner you do it the better. Because then they've got the taste in their mouth and they're waiting, they want it, they want it right now. So, in other words, if I'm waiting to buy my tickets, we had a higher response rate than if I'd already bought my tickets.

Did the people handing out the bonbons identify themselves as employees of the theatre?

They did by inference; they were wearing those shirts that have the cinema company's logo embroidered on them. See, our goal is to say as little as possible because even tone and style can affect it. Some people are naturally warmer than others. They hold out a tray and say, "Would you like one free bonbon-the kind you can find inside?" We didn't want to say "sell" because we didn't want to sound coercive.

So one shouldn't say "sell." Is it OK to say "buy?"
Neither "buy" nor "sell" because that's like I'm trying to get you to do it, and there's an initial resistance to that.

Do you think it would have made a difference if the person handing out the bonbons was identified as a representative of, say, the bonbon company instead of the theatre company?

I don't know. I think not. I think it's about knowing it's safe. If they were not identified as relating to the theatre, I believe in today's world there will be hesitation about taking something to eat. But as long as you are identified as someone who is "legitimate," it's safe.
There are other variables. The more attractive I find the person handing out the treat, the more I will like it. We've done several studies that support this, but we're not the only ones.

We also notice it helps if you can smell the food as well as see it. Bonbons you can't smell, so we were actually experimenting with freezing them and then heating them up lightly just before we took them out so you had that wafting smell of chocolate. My perception is you want multiple positive multi-sensory cues. For example, the sense of sight and smell is a multiplier; it's not just double.

I'm going to try a similar experiment soon where one can smell the food before one sees it, because that pulls me, makes me curious. And if people are curious about something and their curiosity is not satisfied, I believe the desire increases.

You mention the level of attractiveness of those handing out samples. Did you pull your bonbon dispensers from the theatre staff or . . . ?

In this case we didn't have "good-looking," they just weren't ugly. I actually work with Dominican College, which is a private college in [Northern California's] Marin County, and I teach a course on marketing and another one on communications. So I asked people in the class who were about the right height. They're just well-groomed women and they were young. My instinct is that when someone looks pleasant to you--that is, they're smiling, not broadly, but they have a warm face--you tend to like what happens more because you feel better about yourself.

Did you say something about height?

Yeah, I believe that slightly shorter would be better, and I believe opposite-sex attractive will increase your chances for a positive response.

Interesting. Are shorter men preferable as well? 

I don't know. In fact I don't know by the research where I could even extrapolate. Because it's a 2-sided thing by the way. Shorter men, in some ways, are safer for women; taller men may be more attractive. So, there's a 2-level thing that will happen. There's also research that suggests I want someone who looks more masculine at certain times of the month.

You say you only used women?

Well in this case because there are only women in that class. It wasn't a choice, it was they were the easiest to get and they would take instructions. We practiced on a tape, the modulation of their voice, because I wanted it relatively warm but not hyper-friendly.

Was there any thinking about having a mix of men and women handing out the bonbons?

Cross-sex works better then same-sex, we find, as long as they're medium to very attractive. Otherwise there's too many other variables.

How many people did you actually have handing out the bonbons?

We used 12, but we used them in rotation because we wanted them to come out slowly. We wanted the moviegoers to see the [bonbon dispensers] coming out. But we've also done it with just one.

Did you say 12?

Yes.

That's a lot of people.

It is, but we had them floating. In other words, they came out and you would only see two at a time and you'd see them coming. Motion draws attention and heightens emotion.

Where did you get the idea to do the experiment?

I was standing in line and I just had finished some research where the younger the group of people, the shorter the attention spans, the less likely they were to want to wait. I thought, "Well, how can you appeal to them then? Because as restless as people are when they have to wait, give them something else and they're more likely to think about it. And so where are the places to wait?"

At which movie theatres did you conduct the experiment?

There were two; they were in the county of Marin, which is my county. One is in the town of Sausalito and one is in the town of San Rafael. We covered over 300 people in each theatre. Sausalito is real upscale. San Rafael has a whole mixture; it has a lot of Vietnamese, Hispanic, from several parts of Latin America, as well as WASPs. That's why I wanted San Rafael, because of the high Hispanic content. Many of them don't have nearly the same income as others but a lot stronger family bonds.

Was there a lot of difference in the results between the two theatres?

There wasn't, and that startled me.

Was there any skepticism on the part of theatre management over the viability of all this?

They didn't see any downside in it, and they became really interested. They said, "You're not going to charge us for doing this?" I told them I was doing it because I wanted to study it for my own purposes; it wasn't research for other people. So I tried to anticipate the questions I would ask if I were in their shoes, about things that might cause some concern. Whenever I do my research, I want people to feel comfortable, so that when I come back they'll be open to having a follow-up.

Have you conducted other experiments in movie theatres?

No, but if there is a cinema owner who would like to work with me. I have about four variations I'd like to try relative to the experience inside a theatre.

The cinemas at which you tried the free bonbons, do they continue at all to hand them out? 

They've done it erratically; they've done it sometimes I gather. I haven't gone back there much to ask, but I've seen it twice. One would need to create a system to set it up on a regular basis, and in my experience few people think systematically. I mean I could sit down and come up with a system for them that would allow them to use existing staff just by rotating them differently.

In my experience, institutions--even in enlightened self-interest--rarely make major changes until a competitor does. And I'll bet if I worked with one of the theatres in the same geographical area on how to make it systematic--not needing more staff, but changing the tasks and the order in which they did them--then the other theatres would adopt it in that market area.

So the lack of a system kept these theatres from continuing with the bonbons? 

I think they went back to business as usual. It faded from their minds.

So people, even when you approach them with proven data, are still reticent to change?
They're not reticent, that's the wrong thing. They go about doing business. Everybody has a job to do. I believe people don't change the way they do business.

Well it happens slowly. I guess you know that you can get cappuccino in theatres where you couldn't 15 years ago. 
True, but I don't think it changes slowly. Once cappuccinos were offered in one theatre I bet a lot of competing theatres began offering it too. Researchers who have been studying this for years say that the biggest motivation is when your competition does it, even if they don't do it well.

Is there another catalyst? Is it enough that a competitor simply does something new, or do they have to see some sort of special success with it?
No, I think they have to see it happen elsewhere and then they get the idea. "If they've done it, oh, I can do it" or "I can do it better." It can't work poorly, it just has to work somewhat. And they have to see it with someone near them, someone they feel is on their turf.

Do you think theatre owners would do well to hand out bonbons all day, every day?
They should try different times. I definitely think the early evening, when the movies start around 7 p.m., would be good because some don't eat or eat enough then. But [exhibitors] should do it for two weeks, to see if it works better at some times than others. You get immediate feedback on cash. Figure out the pattern that works for you.

So you encourage them to experiment?
Oh yeah. For example, who knows if people's attitudes aren't different when it's really cold? What snacks for this time of day, and for this time of year, would work? During the summer certain kinds of snacks are going to be more desired than others, and they can tell that from what they buy inside.

Bonbons, being chocolate-covered ice cream, obviously may not work as well in winter. What's your instinct about other types of free snacks one might hand out?
This guy at the Food Marketing Institute, he and I are going to be doing a study about saltiness and men, and we think that there are certain times when men like salty snacks much more than women, and we don't know who initiates the buying. If a woman's on a date, a man may take the initiative where a woman may be more reticent.

I would pick the snacks that people might otherwise want to be having for that time of year and time and place. If it's really cold out, they could warm up mini slices of something that's warm that they can buy inside. It all depends on what they are offering inside.

Perhaps something that is baked locally nearby, so that it's low-cost. [Exhibitors] could do partnerships with other businesses; give away mini-slices and offer larger versions inside. Or they can pick something with a longer shelf life.

The whole goal in my mind is to get something that people don't mind sitting in a chair and eating, or walking with and taking it to their car. I would set up criteria for ideal snacks, because I want them to buy it in the theatre and to eat on the way home and to eat later on, because I want them to have three reasons to buy.

When you talk about "slices," it makes me think of pie or cake.
Oh no, not pie or cake, that would be messy. Something that's pre-sliced by the food provider. I want to keep this as simple as possible. People are baking cookie bars, bars that hold together well without crumbling.

One assumes exhibitors utilizing local bakeries should seek out bulk discounts? 
Just as any other retailer would. If I was a theatre owner I'd be going back to the bakery and saying, "Be my partner in experimenting, so we both make more money."

But I'd want to try different kinds of snacks. I'd want to see salty, sweet, even offer both as samples. I'm not a bakery expert, so I'd ask, "What are some of the most popular salty-type snacks you have? What are some that hold together well so they won't spill if they choose to take them in the car." In other words, share with my partner, the baker, or candy-maker, or whatever it is.

How big a sample can you hand out without ruining a moviegoer's appetite?
It depends on the nature of what it is you're eating, but we want to have small samples.

Just big enough to leave them wanting?
It's called a sample; it's a taste of it. "Get a taste of this, to see if you like it, there's more inside."

See, that's friendly. Saying "You might want to buy this when you get inside," that's forceful. I want it friendly, not forceful. We say taste, so if you're getting it free you can't be betrayed. If they say "Can I have another?" "Yes, there's more inside." You stay warm but you play fair and say "I want to make sure I have enough for everybody."

Do you have any other ideas that would be applicable for movie theatre owners, other things they can do to increase profits?
You can do an "exposures audit," which means that you visualize the set of exposures customers have to your theatre: literally from first line of sight, what do they see? Usually what they see is the theatre marquee of what's showing, but they don't see anything about a luscious snack to have inside, they don't see any pictures of it. So you don't get people to start salivating soon enough. Why not have it be an elegant picture that matches the marquee and the rest of what you do. The quality of the pictures of the food should be relative to what people are seeing in other venues.

What constitutes a good picture of food? Should it be larger, or more colorful?
Something photographic. Look at all the food displays in most of the good food magazines now. The standard of food photography is stunning, and relatively easy to obtain. Have a picture taken by someone who takes pictures of food. An ad agency here in San Francisco has a whole section of food experts; all they do is food photography. It's not, ironically, that expensive for something you want to have at eye-level when people are walking by, and it can show all your products in one luscious display.

Most of the stuff is rather low when you go into the theatre to buy it. So why not have something down the center. Give them more ways they can see it easily. Glancing up, glancing over. Also, photos of food behind the person taking tickets.

Multiply the number of things I see, smell, taste or touch, so if I'm able to taste it, and if I'm able to see it at eye level when I'm walking in, if I see it as I'm approaching, if I see it as I'm driving by--even if I'm not going to the theatre--that means it's going to be more in my mind.

• Voted one of Top 5 speakers on Communication: http://speaking.com/top5/

• See how much others have accomplished in consulting with Kare http://www.sayitbetter.com/coaching.php - or bring her to speak http://www.sayitbetter.com/meeting_planners.php 

http://twitter.com/KareAnderson  + http://howwepartner.com/

• Two of her blogs are featured on http://collaboration.alltop.com/ and another, Say it Better, on http://lifehacks.alltop.com/

Posted via email from SayitBetter

Attract and Keep Your Hottest Prospects at Your Booth

What's the Biggest Single Change Most Exhibitors Can Make to Move Prospects Closer to a Sale?

Exhibiting companies can make their "main differentiating benefit" the most prominent message in everything that they display, give away, or ask their booth staffers to discuss.

Problem: Exhibiting companies rarely do this. In fact, the majority of the people who staff trade show booths are not involved in the design of the booth or the promotional materials that they give away at trade shows.

If you are reading this article, you are probably one of the salespeople who are facing this situation. Read on and you'll find some ways to overcome the inadvertent barriers put in the way of your sales success.

First, consider these points:

1. Are exhibiting companies giving their prospects what they most need to know to close a sale?

2. Exactly how can exhibit staff help attendees make an informed choice and act sooner?

3. How many steps do even "warm" buyers take to complete the sale, from signing to delivery through possible training on the use of the product?

4. Can exhibitors not only take steps to make buyers happy with their decisions but also to be heroes among their colleagues so they will tell others and buy again?

Don't bury the key reason to buy.
After walking through over 100 trade shows prior to speaking to exhibitors, I've discovered that the exhibitors' message is rarely the key headline prospective buyers most need to know. That essential message is the main differentiating benefit between an exhibitor's product or service and that of the top two or three alternative vendors, as the prospect most probably views their options.

Instead, exhibits and promotional materials usually give more prominence to the name of the product and/or the company.

Attendees rarely see or hear about an exhibitor's main benefit first.
Benefits rarely "jump out" at attendees from the booth or collateral messages or the staff's explanation. Thus, exhibitors inadvertently hide their biggest benefit.

In most cases, features (how a product is constructed or its "capacity" or how it is operated) are still promoted more heavily than benefits (what the product does for the customer). This is not customer-centered, thoughtful marketing. The prospect has to do more work to make a fair comparison.

Exhibitors can offer succinct, specific, and easy-to-follow comparison sheets that do not insult the competition. One comparison sheet might "headline" the major benefits. Other back-up sheets can provide more detailed comparisons. Put a "human face" on the facts by providing customers' situational examples to illustrate the benefits.

Plus, staff often attempt to build traffic to their booth with contests, drawings, or giveaway gadgets that don't relate to their main, differentiating benefit or even their product, so they don't get closer to their hottest prospects.

Further, staff's icebreaker comments are often general and not relevant to the reason to buy ("Having a good time?" "Want a free..?").

Unfortunately, those who staff an exhibit seldom get to be involved in the design of their exhibit or promotional materials _- or even what they wear. They must accept the setting in which they sell, attempting to engage prospects as they pass with involving comments that state the main benefits verbally to attendees in a brief, involving way to pull them in rather than turn them off.

When companies don't make their main benefit easy to see and hear quickly, attendees must be deeply motivated to look and ask for the essential information they want.

Credible benefit statements increase the chances for a sale. A credible brand name then reinforces the reason to buy, not the other way around. Good benefit statements are vivid and specific examples, facts, and comparisons. Passersby are in one of three buying modes:

1. Seeking information to buy a certain kind of product for the first time and trying to select the best product

2. Considering changing vendors if they find a better product

3. "Trolling":
a. not buying now but seeing what is new for future reference
b. or without the budget or need and will never buy

Serious buyers most want to see and hear information regarding:
a. the main reason to buy at all and, if they do buy,
b. the main reason they should buy from you over your closest competitors, as they see them.

22 Ways to Attract Serious Buyers to Your Exhibit and to a Sale
1. Draft and memorize a one-to-two-sentence top "differentiating benefit" statement, relative to your two closest competitors and without denigrating the competition.

2. Start with the specific benefit rather than building up to it with general background, so the listener will listen sooner and longer. The specific detail ("Product with the fewest parts that need replacement") proves the general benefit. The general statement ("We are the people who care") is less credible and less memorable.

3. Multiply attendees' positive exposures to your benefit in everything you say, display, point at, stand near, or offer.

4. Be able to reduce that benefit to its essence in one vivid phrase, motto, slogan, or sentence.

5. Make your phrase sufficiently interesting and brief so they feel they're in charge. They'll be more likely to stay and ask you enough questions so you can recognize their main interests, level of knowledge, hot buttons, and decision-making process.

6. Offer "real life" situational examples. Cite relevant and diverse customers' experiences. Tell them what your customers actually said.

7. Give no more than three supportive benefits.

8. Express each supportive benefit like a headline, a "billboard message" of no more than five to eight words.

9. Use everyday, non-jargon, and non-industry-specific language, even if the attendees might know the jargon.

10. The most credible proof of your benefits are third-party endorsements of three diverse customers who have little else in common other than their adoration of your product and their similarity with your prospect.

11. Display a satisfied client's quotes under each benefit on the booth and in promotional material -- preferably each in a different color and type face. When endorsements relate to a specific situation, change, vivid contrast, or improvement, their words are most credible and will be most memorable.

12. Yes! Remove all graphics and words and materials in the booth that do not relate to either the main benefit and (not more than three) supportive benefits, so attendees will be able to take in the information within 12-15 seconds, their average pause-to-scan time in such conditions.

13. Display your main point and supportive points on the booth above the heads of the booth staff and attendees, so attendees' views are not blocked.

14. Booth visuals and words should guide attendees' eyes down a "path" from one message to the next.

15. Avoid opening references to weather, "Having fun?", freebies, drawings, or other non-benefit-related topics that distract and dilute your relationship with your prospect.

16. Verbally and visually make a "Conference Offer": more information; a time-limited or bundled product order price; consultation; or other vivid benefit to move them closer to a sale.

17. An attendee's attention span is shortened if you wear patterned or very detailed clothing or accessories (pin, necklace, tie, earrings) or other busy "body signage," especially on the upper half of your body.

18. For those who know your product (and you know that they are familiar with it):

a. Hand the person a gift (preferably one that does not prominently display your company or product name), while asking them: "May I give you this small gift for taking the time to answer two questions for me?"

b. Then ask, "What do you like best about our product or (service)?" Whatever is said aloud is then believed more deeply by the speaker.

c. Be a complete and supportive listener as they explain. Give uninterrupted eye contact, nod, or offer other responsive gestures that are natural for you.

d. When they have finished, ask, "Tell me more about that." As they elaborate, they move the topic closer to the top of their minds and they also become more:
- articulate and vivid.
- deeply convinced about the reasons they've stated for liking your product.

The result? You've moved them closer to being fervent and articulate fans. They are more likely to talk themselves closer to a sale and voluntarily tell others why they like your product.

19. When you first meet a prospect, find the quality in them you can most like and admire and keep it uppermost in your mind as you talk with them. You are more likely to bring out that aspect of their personality when they are around you and less likely to react to their behaviors that irritate or otherwise bother you.

20. When you stand opposite someone, you are more likely to literally oppose them. Instead, "sidle" whenever possible.

Men instinctively "sidle" when together, shaking hands and then standing more or less side by side. Women instinctively continue to face each other or a man. When standing side-by-side, people feel more comfortable with each other, themselves, and their surroundings. They listen sooner and longer and are more inclined to agree with each other.

21. Learn to get people to remember what you say, even if they are not trying to.
Here are three successful ways to "lodge" your message in their minds:
A. People remember more and feel more intensely -- for good and for bad -- when they are in motion. Say your main points while you're turning, shaking hands, demonstrating a product, or pointing to something, when a part of the booth is in motion, and/or while the visitor is reaching for something. Here are two guides to the kinds of motion that are most memorable:

a) Things are most memorable when you're both in motion, next most memorable when the other person is in motion even if you aren't, third most memorable when you are in motion, and fourth most memorable when you are both watching something or someone in motion.

b) The more dimensions of motion involved (up, down, left, right, forward, and back), the more memorable the experience. Ways to involve motion to reinforce memory include exhibit demonstrations, staff gestures and walking, video vignettes, and parts of the exhibit.

B. Relate your benefits to their three "core life experiences": family (theirs, yours, or a metaphorical family of services or products), where they work or have worked, or where they live or have lived.
C. a) First refer to one of their currently pressing interests (not your product).

b) Then refer to how you two share a common interest in the topic.

c) And then to how it relates to you and your product's main benefit.

This method is called the "You-Us-Me" approach. Here's an example:

A. "I gather you are the expert in... "YOU"

B. and that by discussing this with you... "US"

C. I'll get more ideas about if and how our products can best serve people in your situation.... "ME"

23. To maintain rapport, use specific, emotion-laden language when stating the positive, and report the negative neutrally -- "just the facts."

24. Begin your comments with a direct response to the prospect's last comment until they feel heard instead of working up to your response with other background information they might not want to hear. Characterize your benefits in direct response to:

a. a specific, negative "hot button" or problem they've expressed, which you can make better or solve, or

b. some strong positive preference the prospect has just expressed.

Closing Tip: Familiarity Breeds Acceptance
Continuously nurture your best prospects, seeding in their minds your main and vividly stated differentiating benefit and providing ideas and help at "non-sales" times. Make every aspect of your behavior, booth, and promotional material repeat, reflect, and reinforce that benefit before, during, right after the conference, and later, again to your hottest prospects.

• Voted one of Top 5 speakers on Communication: http://speaking.com/top5/

• See how much others have accomplished in consulting with Kare http://www.sayitbetter.com/coaching.php - or bring her to speak http://www.sayitbetter.com/meeting_planners.php 

http://twitter.com/KareAnderson  + http://howwepartner.com/

• Two of her blogs are featured on http://collaboration.alltop.com/ and another, Say it Better, on http://lifehacks.alltop.com/

Kare Anderson

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from SayitBetter

We Are All Literally Two-Faced

“Your face is my map to your life.”
- Houdini, magician

Business owners need to make every encounter positively memorable to attract attention and the positive "buzz" that creates word-of-mouth news for their products and services. That attention begins with the face, the part of the body that people most notice in making instinctual judgments about others. And those judgment are now made within the first seven to twenty seconds of meeting

Guess what? We are all literally and unwittingly two-faced. To learn more about how you present yourself to the world, and your underlying, more “private” feelings, you just have to look yourself in the face. Want to get out a mirror now, before you read further?

You constantly present two aspects of yourself, on the two sides of your face. Recent research on the different functions of the left and right sides of the brain helps to explain why this is so. The two verticle halves of the face are each affected by the nerves of the opposite side of the brain and show the world different parts of how you feel.

In fact, the two sides of your face, like the two sides of your body -- -the left and the right -- are usually asymmetrical and unequal in proportion. Look at yourself in the mirror -- full-face and full length -- to see the differences.

Your expressions, in repose, are icons of your attitudes toward life.”
- Kare Anderson

The left side is your more “private” part of your personality and your right is the more “public” side of your face. The left often looks less happy than the right. Most subjects who have been analyzed projected their wish images upon their left side of their face and their right side related more to their real or basic self-image and attitude towards the world.

Your face’s right side often appears more pleasant, sensitive, vulnerable and/or open in expression. The left side is less expressive than the right and tends to reflect the hidden, severe, stern and/or depressed aspects you usually intend to keep private from the world -- and sometimes even from yourself.

The left side is more likely to register negative emotions, while the right side tends to reflect the more positive and optimistic, but not necessarily phony part of your personality.

“When I smile I must also show the grimace behind it.”
- Live Ullman, actress, author

Since the right side of the brain has more control over the left side of the body -- including the face -- then it stands to reason that the research on how the brain is organized, left and right, can give us insights into how we literally face the world and how we can better understand others. The left brain -- reflected more in the right side of the face -- relates to logic, pragmatic thinking, practicality and language.

The right part of the brain, in turn, relates more to intuition, imagination, and other more creative leanings.

The basic gut feelings, including your attitude towards yourself and your life emanate from your right brain. You express them more in the left side of your face.

“We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are.”
- Kare Anderson

The more controlled or conscious responses -- the social mask you put on for the world -- may be processed more by the pragmatic left brain and appear more readily on the right side of the face.

Now you may be getting lost in “lefts” and “rights” of all this, but let’s continue with some experiments you can conduct to learn more about yourself and others for whom you have strong feelings (like or dislike) in your life.

“Your face is your shorthand to your body language.”
- Kare Anderson

How You See the World
Ironically, the right brain is more actively involved in observing the world -- which it does predominantly through your left eye. And, when you face someone, your left eye is across from the other persons’s right side. Therefore, you are more aware of their right side. But you are thus most noticing the side of the other person’s face which is more connected with the left or “logical” and less revealing side. You miss facing the part of their face that is most likely to show underlying “true” feelings.

“Public / Private Face” Exercise
Here is a rather intimate exercise to do with someone -- and it doesn’t involve disrobing or even touching. Sit facing each other. Now look at the left and the right sides of the other person’s face. Does the right side show a more open, less tense presence? Does the left look more reserved, serious? The left side, that is their left side, is the more private face, remember, and the right side is their more public face. In fact, the left side is likely to show their more basic disposition. As you face each other, discuss your observations, one side at a time.

“The face is the most memorable part of the body and the eyes are the most memorable part of the face.”
- Werner Wolff, psychiatrist and hypnotist

“Driver’s License Photo Show” Exercise
Now try this experiment. Get out your driver’s license. Look at both sides of your face, covering one side at a time with a piece of paper. Look “inward” at yourself and see if you observe different aspects of yourself.

You may also want to look back at your family album and look at the progression of your face and your personality development overtime -- and that of others in your family. Look at the childhood albums of close friends and in-laws for other perspectives on them.

“Photo Finish” Exercise
To gain a still more revealing view of yourself, find two photographic negatives of “head and shoulders”, close-up pictures of yourself. If you don’t have any handy, ask someone to take two pictures of you; offer to do the same for them and compare notes on this exercise. Cut both negatives of yourself vertically in half, down the center of your face. Flop over one side of each negative. Take a glossy-coated side and a dull-coated side of the left side of your face from the two negatives, and ask your camera shop to print it to create a “left-left” photo. Take a glossy and a dull-sided half of your face and also get a “right-right” print made. Thus, instead of the normal right-left photo of your actual face, the joined half negatives become right-right and left-left faces. You will then see exaggerated versions of both aspects of yourself -- and will probably be able to see each more clearly.

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one of Top 5 speakers on Communication

: http://speaking.com/top5/

• See how much others have accomplished in consulting with Kare http://www.sayitbetter.com/coaching.php - or bring her to speak http://www.sayitbetter.com/meeting_planners.php 

http://twitter.com/KareAnderson  + http://howwepartner.com/

• Two of her blogs are featured on http://collaboration.alltop.com/ and another, Say it Better, on http://lifehacks.alltop.com/

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Change a Habit in 30 Days and See Other Great Changes Happen

"If you want to know your future, look at what you are doing in this moment," goes the Tibetan saying. This may seem childlike but I always find it easiest to make a change in my life by picturing a very specific and compelling reward for the change:

• How will I have moved closer to being my true self?

• What wonderful, new experiences could I attract?

• How could I use my talents more fully, for myself and for others?

Conversely, what boring, irritating or anger-provoking task or person will I now experience in a more comfortable light or no longer have to experience at all?

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself," wrote Leo Tolstoy. What habit do you want to drop or pick up? From body fat to a bright new job we obsess about but often block our own change. Here are some steps that have proved helpful to me.

1. Find Your True North

There is a Thai word, "sanuk", which means whatever you do you should enjoy it. First be clear about choosing a habit-changing goal that is powerfully valuable to you. 

Why put effort in an "ought to do" goal, based on others’ wishes for you, when you can serve your true self by going for the one that you’ll truly find most satisfying?

As Keniche Ohmae wrote in The Borderless World, "Rowing harder does not help if the boat is headed in the wrong direction. Applying more muscle is no solution if the course is off."

Perhaps you are choosing a new habit that is someone else’s goal for you, not your own. If you really don’t enjoy moving toward that change, you may be acting against your deepest preferences. "Problems that remain persistently unsolvable should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way," wrote philosopher, Alan Watts in The Book.

2. Picture Being Your Hero

Keep picturing the experience of your success when you are tempted to fall back. As Soren Kierkegaard, the 19th Century Danish theologian said, "People celebrate achievements and spotlight heroes but the truly heroic act is not the outcome but in starting out and not knowing if you will succeed."

"A vivid imagination," wrote Aristotle, "compels the whole body to obey it." Emile Couce wrote in Willing, "It is the imagination and not the will that is the dominating faculty of man. It is a serious mistake to advise people to train their wills; they should learn to control and direct their imaginations."

Keep picturing yourself as the hero who has succeeded to make a self-fulfilling prophecy. Rather than talking about what you are giving up or how you might fail, always think and talk about your goal as the inevitable future—what is going to be.

3. Use Your Innate Homing Device

Look inside for your "Homing Device" of your most powerful motivation or passionate interest that can be related to your goal. As Dr. Beverly Potter wrote in her book, Finding a Path With a Heart: How to Go From Burnout to Bliss, "When we pay attention to our Homing Devices and follow their guidance, we invariably feel right about ourselves and in perfect harmony with people and activities in which we are involved in the moment…Not all targets (goals) are the same. Some are easier to hit. Some are more fun. Compelling targets have a magnetic force that pulls you toward them."

4. Surround Yourself With Support

To keep your resolve, surround yourself with those who want you to succeed.

In The Healing Brain, psychologist Robert Ornstein and physician David Sobel, suggested we learn that the need for community is a key part of our evolutionary heritage and a way we can learn to change.

The brain’s primary purpose is not to think, but to guard the body from illness and despair. "The brain acts as an internal health maintenance organization, governing everything from the release of stress hormones to the functioning of the immune system.

Your brain cannot do its job of protecting your body without contact with other people. We have evolved to be dependent on others. Evolution has less regard for the individual than for the survival of the species. "For your evolution toward your goal, plant yourself firmly among those who will reinforce your desired behavior."

5. Know How You Get Detoured

"The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn." wrote David Russell. Notice your pattern for avoiding your course toward your goal. What …

• Activities do you use to get sidetracked?

• Time of day or day of the week is it most likely to happen?

• Else is happening that can numb you into avoidance?

• Colleagues and friends help or hinder you on your path?

Discover these patterns now and you will be more powerfully productive toward this and all the next goals you set for yourself. But don’t be too hard on yourself when you’re not perfect. As Charles Garfield wrote in Peak Performance, "On course doesn’t mean perfect. On course means that even when things don’t go perfectly, you are in the right direction."

The keys?

1. Habit: Do the same thing at least three times a day for 30 days?

2. Habit witnessed by at least one other person: Get an accountability buddy.

3. Group committed to collective change: With even a small “cell” group committed to shared success in changing a behavior, there are more witnesses to keep each other in line, celebrate small signs of progress – bring out the disciplined side in each other.  Inevitably such groups forge strong bonds.  That mutual accountability is key to Delancey Street’s success. 

Think of all the variations of AA groups (from food to alcohol addiction).  Think of the small interest groups within Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church.  Think of military squadrons. I am still involved with the three small groups in which I worked on the Obama campaign. Read more about this effect in Influencers.

6. Confirm That You’re on the Right Path

Notice how your feelings change as you practice your new habit. Discomfort - yes, yet is there an underlying, growing comfort with yourself? How are others close to you reacting? What new experiences happen?

As you change, everyone around you will change in reaction to you. Some will be uncomfortable with your growing comfort. Others will be happy for you and inspired to change as well. Many will not consciously notice the actual change yet will feel better around you.

As Jean Shinoda Bolen wrote in The Tao of Psychology, "Synchronistic events can assure us when we are on the right life path; and advise us when we are not; at the most profound level, they assure us that we are not mere observers but always participants in an interconnected cosmic web."

Put simply, see how the changes you make affect your self-image and your relationships with others. Simply speaking, do you enjoy your life more?

7. Be Your Best

I believe those who will gain the most professional satisfaction in an increasingly challenging and competitive workplace will be those who choose to get very good at one single skill.

Like goal-setting, the more specific you state the change, the more likely the success and sense of satisfaction you’ll gain. We may not all be as lucky as Billie Jean King (I certainly wasn’t) who wrote in her autobiography, Billie Jean, "When I was five or six… (I) told my mother I’d be the best at something; by the time I was twelve, I knew what I’d be best in. But it is never too late in life to choose your "best."

8. Plan a Great Reward

Before you start a new habit, plan how you will celebrate when you meet your goal. The bigger the change, the more bountiful the reward. 

The most meaningful, memorable celebrations usually involve collective rituals and recognition where everyone involved with your change, however inadvertently, gets to share the spotlight with you.  Enable those who supported you or worked on the same goal with you, to savor the behavioral change with you. Your celebration may well be the needed nudge to sway them to start on their path towards living a bigger, better life by making some small changes in their habits. 

See links http://sayitbetter.typepad.com/say_it_better/2009/07/change-a-habit-in-30-days-and-see-other-great-changes-happen.html

  • Voted one of Top 5 speakers on Communication: http://speaking.com/top5/

• See how much others have accomplished in consulting with Kare http://www.sayitbetter.com/coaching.php - or bring her to speak http://www.sayitbetter.com/meeting_planners.php 

http://twitter.com/KareAnderson  + http://howwepartner.com/

• Two of her blogs are featured on http://collaboration.alltop.com/ and another, Say it Better, on http://lifehacks.alltop.com/

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How Your Words Reveal Your Self-Image, World View and More

Who’s the VIP in the room? Find out by listening to the words people use. The higher one’s status in a situation, for example, the less one uses “I” in conversation.  We also use “I” less in the weeks after a major cultural upheaval like 9/11 for Americans. As we age we tend to use more positively emotional words and refer to ourselves less. The higher one’s social class the fewer emotional words one uses.

From our truthfulness to dominance or our mood we are enormously revealing to others – if they know how to recognize the content and style of our words.  That’s what University of Texas psychologist James W. Pennebaker is discovering.

Style words, according to Pennebaker, include conjunctions, articles, pronouns, prepositions and auxiliary verbs. Content words are nouns, regular verbs, and most adjectives and adverbs. The content words are what someone is saying and style words are how they are saying it.

Women use more negations, social words, pronouns, verbs, and references to psychological processes than men do. (Surprise.) Men tend to use more big words, numbers, articles and prepositions.

Pennebaker also discovered that: 

• One’s health is more likely to improve, not with the increased use of “emotion” words (sad, happy, joyful) but with more use of cognitive words (know, realize, understand).

• Public figures speaking in press conferences use more 1st person singular when they are depressed or prone to suicide.

 • When people tell the truth, they are more like to use first person singular pronouns.

 • When people’s testosterone levels increased rapidly, they dropped in their use of references to other people.

 • People who talked about traumatic experiences are physically healthier than those who kept such experiences secret.

Three free ways to learn how you see yourself and your world

 One

Learn about your personality from the style words you use by taking Pennebaker’s online questionnaire. He will analyze the results for you for free if you’ll allow him to use the results in his research. Discover whether you are high or low in the classic “big five” dimensions of personality: neuroticism, extraversion, openness, agreeableness, and conscientiousness.

Two

You can quickly glean insights about how you see the world depending on how you describe something as simple as a bottle, using what Pennebaker calls “the meaning extraction strategy.” 

Three

Or take just 15 minutes to describe yourself and learn even more.

See links http://sayitbetter.typepad.com/say_it_better/2009/08/how-your-words-reveal-your-self-image-world-view-and-more.html

• Voted one of Top 5 speakers on Communication: http://speaking.com/top5/

• See how much others have accomplished in consulting with Kare http://www.sayitbetter.com/coaching.php - or bring her to speak http://www.sayitbetter.com/meeting_planners.php 

http://twitter.com/KareAnderson  + http://howwepartner.com/

• Two of her blogs are featured on http://collaboration.alltop.com/ and another, Say it Better, on http://lifehacks.alltop.com/

Posted via email from SayitBetter